The Lizard Slayer/Transcript
(The episode begins with a different animation showing a forest) Caterpie: (narrating) Long ago, our people lived in a lush green forest. The trees stretched on for miles and miles, and behind every branch, a predator lied in wait. (the predator being a Pidgeotto, gazing upon a Caterpie eating a berry) The world was as dangerous as it was large, and we were very small. (another Caterpie attacks the Pidgeotto) But by banding together, we overcame our struggles, and together we survived. (fade to black, then to another scene showing two Caterpies) Until one day, a terrible beast emerged from beyond the forest. A demon more fierce than anything we witnessed, and whatever it was, it wanted us dead. (reveal a beastly version of Charmander) We called it, (fade to black) the Lizard. (another scene showing the Lizard (Charmander) using his fire breath to burn the forest and two scared Caterpies are running away) The Lizard decimated everything in its path, scouring the forests with an unquenchable bloodlust. (another scene showing a Caterpie being burned alive by the Lizard) Countless victims were burned alive by its fiery breath, (another scene showing the Lizard holding two shivs with one Caterpie stabbed through the left shiv, and two Caterpies stabbed through the right) stabbed and skewered with shards of wood, (another scene shows the Lizard holding a Caterpie head on his left hand, and the Caterpie's body on the right hand) their heads ripped off and used to make decorative hats for pets. (scene zooms out to reveal a Bulbasaur with different eyes wearing a Caterpie's head, then fades to black) It seemed the Lizard was destined to destroy us all, (another scene shows the Lizard looking back at the Leader Caterpie) but amid the flames of destruction, a hero rose from the ashes, a hero known as- ???: Decorative hats for pets? (The episode switches back to the normal SFM animation, showing a little Caterpie, a big Caterpie, and a yellow Caterpie by a campfire) Yellow: Really? Decorative hats for pets? Caterpie: Stop interrupting the legend! Yellow: So not only does the Lizard have pets, but you're saying he decorates them using severed heads? Eddy: Maybe it's a metaphor. Caterpie: It's not a- sigh Look, it's just a trivial detail that doesn't meet- Yellow: We're changing it! If we have to memorize this, I'm not saying that part. Eddy: Wait, we have to memorize this? Can we please start over? I wasn't paying attention. Caterpie: Fine, but no interruptions! Long ago, our people lived in a- (Sandshrew falls into the cave after digging since the end of the previous episode) Sandshrew: Oh, uh, er, Hi, sorry for breaking into your house, I was, I stutters, I was digging. Caterpie: What are these called again? Yellow: I think it was Andrew or something. Caterpie: Today's your lucky day, Andrew! Welcome to the Caterpie army! Sandshrew: Oh, laugh, thanks, but I'm not really looking to join like a, did you say army? (Bulbasaur falls down the hole and lands on Sandshrew) Caterpie: Is that? (notices Pablo's head on Bulbasaur) No way. Yellow: No way! Caterpie: Then that means- (Charmander falls down the hole, landing on Bulbasaur's bulb, then gets up and starts angrily looking at the Caterpies) Eddy: Aah! It's the Lizard! (runs away) Caterpie: Okay, okay, we can do this, Caterpie, I choose you! Yellow: I thought I was the trainer! Were we taking turns? Caterpie: I never agreed to that! (Caterpie is attacked by Charmander's Ember, then Charmander attacks Yellow) Charmander: WHERE IS SQUIRTLE? I know you worms have him! (gets attacked by String Shot) (Yellow swings away) Yellow: He's here! Prepare yourselves! Charmander: (gets the string off him) sarcastic Oh, hey, great teamwork, guys! Thanks a lot! Sandshrew: Sorry, I still wasn't sure what side I was supposed to be on. Bulbasaur: Ooh, ooh, join our side! Can we keep him, Charmander? Charmander: sigh Fine. What was your name again? Sandshrew: Sandshrew, but I don't actually want to- Bulbasaur: Ooh-ooh! I think his name should be Dirtle, because he's like Squirtle, but with dirt. Sandshrew: Oh, at least Andrew sounded like an actual name. Charmander: Sure. Dirtle, you're with us now. Bulbasaur: Yay! Sandshrew: Oh, so you're just going to ignore me then. Charmander: Pretty much. You got any attacks? Sandshrew: Well, I-I, I suppose I have Sand Attack. Charmander: Eh, that could work. Where does the sand come out of? Sandshrew: It's, it's a little bit more limited than that, (Charmander checks Sandshrew for anything that the sand could come out of) stutters more of a support tactic than anything else. Charmander: Uh-huh. Let's keep moving. Bulbasaur: You're my best friend now. Sandshrew: Oh, cool. (transition) (Sandshrew, Charmander and Bulbasaur slide down into another part of the cave) Bulbasaur: Oooh. (The cave reveals a bunch of drawings that show different ways the Caterpies could kill Charmander, such as getting Weedles to poison sting him to death, getting a Metapod to stab right through him, or two Caterpies to force feed him berries) Sandshrew: Huh, so I'm guessing they aren't big fans of yours. Charmander: The worms are my sworn enemies. After they took Squirtle from me, I vowed to kill as many as I have to to get him back. And they've already vowed to kill me because I've been eating them or whatever. (Bulbasaur looks at a drawing of a Caterpie wearing Charmander's severed head) Bulbasaur: Aw, why am I not in any of these drawings? Charmander: And apparently, they think I'm STUPID enough to fall for their crude traps. (The trap shows a Squirtle dummy being hung on top of a puddle) Sandshrew: Well, you do have to admire the craftsmanship though. Charmander: Yeah, that does look exactly like him. Bulbasaur: Whoa, that looks exactly like- (falls into the puddle, with the dummy's body falling with him while the head lies on the floor) Heh-heh-heh, I float. Charmander: Get out of there. Sandshrew: So, I guess Squirtle must be pretty important then. Charmander: sigh Have you ever had a friend before? Sandshrew: That's kind of a mean question. Charmander: I used to think I didn't need any. (picks up the dummy's head) Then I lost one. One that was willing to help me no matter what. (throws the dummy's head back on the ground) I will do anything to get Squirtle back, even if it means risking all three of our lives! Sandshrew: Oh boy, that's reassuring. Bulbasaur: I'm all wet. Charmander: Besides, if this is the best trap they can come up with, we'll be fine. (A rock suddenly falls on the puddle, indicating that Charmander should have drowned) ???: Damn it! (sounds of Caterpies can be heard) It's fine, it's fine, just stay focused! (Bulbasaur suddenly gets captured by a Pokeball) Charmander: (sees Yellow with a Butterfree flying over it) Hey! Follow that worm! (more rocks fall down and one rock is being thrown by Caterpies using their string to make it fall, Charmander and Sandshrew run from the falling rocks while Sandshrew is panicking) (Yellow, with Bulbasaur's Pokeball, runs into an entrance to another room, Charmander and Sandshrew follow but a rock blocks their way through) Charmander: Damn it! Dirtle, can you dig through this- (gets attacked by a Shellder) (The Butterfree is revealed to not have fully grown from Metapod yet, and is riding on the Shellder, who continues to spit on Charmander) Butterfree: Stop, you're gonna kill him! Shellder: (blows raspberry, as it is the only way it can communicate) Butterfree: No, change of plans! We're capturing him. Shellder: (blows raspberry) Butterfree: Well, they're wrong! Especially that so-called leader, and when I catch the Lizard, they'll be answering to me! Shellder: (blows raspberry) Charmander: Dirtle, use Sand Attack! (Sandshrew throws sand at the Butterfree and Shellder) Shellder: (blows raspberry) Butterfree: Nah, we don't need him, feel free. (Shellder uses Water Gun on Sandshrew, Charmander gets up and grabs the Shellder from Butterfree) Butterfree: NO! Shellder: (blows raspberry) (Charmander seemingly breaks Shellder, killing it, later revealed to be flattened) Butterfree: Are you kidding me?! That was my only- (an Ember comes but she flies up and away from it, continues to dodge the Embers) Flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, oh, where are you, where are you, where are you? There! (releases Golbat) Golbat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Butterfree: Remember, we're catching him. I need him alive, so use- Golbat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Butterfree: Use- Golbat: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (brief seconds of silence) Butterfree: Use- Golbat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-''' '''Butterfree: Never mind, it's not worth it. Sandshrew: I feel like we're doing pretty well. Butterfree: Where is it? Where is it? Ah! Aha! Here we go! (releases Beedrill) Butterfree: Oh no, not you. Beedrill: laughs As I live and buzz! Honey, baby, what made you change your mind? Butterfree: Return. Return! Come back now, please! Beedrill: laughs Ah, no way! That's the Lizard? He's a lot shorter than I expected. Butterfree: Please stop. Beedrill: You know, I don't really get out much anymore. Butterfree: Please stop! Beedrill: I never even thought I'd get the chance to fight again. Butterfree: Stop! Beedrill: So I must say... Butterfree: Don't you dare! Beedrill: It's great to BEE here! laughs Ah, I kill me. (gets burned by Charmander) screams It was worth it! IT WAS WORTH IT! (Charmander takes out one of Beedrill's stingers) I regret nothing! I REGRET NOTHING! I DIE COMPLETELY FULFILLED IN LIFE! Butterfree: Didn't want to resort to this. (takes out a Great Ball) Please, please do not kill him. (Something crashes down after the Great Ball is released, a Geodude is revealed and punches Charmander, as Geodude is about to start singing Rock Smasher, after Charmander fails to attack Geodude, and as he punches Sandshrew, Geodude starts singing, while trying to kill Charmander) (After the line "Your funeral's been penned, No one will attend!", Charmander manages to get away from Geodude) Charmander: None of this is working! Dirtle! Any ideas!? Sandshrew: AAaaahh! I don't know! What would your friend Squirtle do? Charmander: Damn it! (Charmander finds a hole, leading him to a part of the cave where the rocks fell) (The song continues as Geodude says "DIE!" as he punches a rock, Charmander gets back to the room with the drawings, and as Geodude finishes the song, he punches the rock only to fall into the puddle) Charmander: pants Die. pants Butterfree: NOOO! They were right all along. (has an Ultra Ball in her hand) There's only one way to do this. (releases Golem) Kill him! (The song, "Golem Saves the Day!", starts as it's looking like he's about to start singing but instead he screams uncontrollably at Charmander, and the song ends as Golem kills Butterfree instead by jumping on her repeatedly) Butterfree: No no no no! Not me! (Charmander leaves) ? Don't! Aaahhh- (transition) (A room full of Caterpies and Metapods is shown, the scene moves to two guard Caterpies as another Caterpie walks through, one of the guards sighs) Guard Caterpie #1: Something wrong? Guard Caterpie #2: I don't know. I mean I chose to be here right now, but do I actually have the ability to choose? If I'm making decisions based on personal experience, then I'm just seeking the optimal choice based on previous trial and error results for my life. I think my choices might just have been the product of how I've been previously conditioned to choose. What do you think? Guard Caterpie #1: I'm hungry. Guard Caterpie #2: Eh, you're right. Let's get lunch. (The two guard Caterpies go over to a part of the room where lunch is being served, which has a giant rock with the word "LUNCH" on it and an arrow pointing to the left) (A line of Caterpies are waiting for lunch, which is revealed to show a Caterpie sucking on Bulbasaur's bulb, Bulbasaur is stuck in string) Caterpie #1: I still can't believe Yellow got us a cow! Caterpie #2: I can't believe he's so delicious! Caterpie #3: And high in fiber! Bulbasaur: Aw man, I'm not sure I enjoy being food. Yellow: Coming through! (Yellow comes through giving Bulbasaur his favorite berries, which are blue) Bulbasaur: gasp Is that- (sniffs the berries, then starts eating them) Never mind, this is my life now. (continues eating the berries) (Eddy comes back to warn the other Caterpies about Charmander) Eddy: pants You guys! He's here! The Lizard is here! Caterpie Who Was Sucking on the Bulb: Yeah. Duh. Caterpie #1: We trapped him in the arena. Where have you been? Yellow: You gotta relax, Eddy! Have some cow! I just fed him. Bulbasaur: Yeah! Have some! I'm part of a complete breakfast. Eddy: You don't understand! Remember the Andrew from earlier? The Lizard is using him to dig through- (rumbling is heard, the scene reveals Sandshrew and Charmander, still holding the dead Beedrill's stinger, as they get up) Charmander: I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE! SURRENDER NOW AND I'LL SPARE YOU ALL! WHERE IS SQUIRTLE? (After a brief period of silence, the Caterpies attack Charmander, and he attacks back) (Sandshrew uses Sand Attack on a Caterpie) Caterpie: My eyes! Sandshrew: Ha! It worked! Charmander, it- (gets trapped in string by the Caterpies) (Charmander breaks free from being trapped by Caterpies using his fire breath, then uses Flamethrower to burn the room, Caterpies are shown to be dead) Charmander: I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU IF I HAVE TO! (rips another Caterpie's head off) JUST GIVE ME SQUIRTLE! Leader Caterpie: Hey! You want him, come get him! (Charmander gets ready to attack the leader Caterpie, but is stopped by Whiskers, who has now evolved into a Nidorina) Leader Caterpie: Kill him, Whiskers! I believe in you! (A fight starts between Charmander and Whiskers) Leader Caterpie: Welcome to your reckoning, Lizard! I can't believe I used to be afraid of you. I practically made you a legend, but you're not a legend, you just don't give up. So neither did I, but there's a key difference between us. I'm a leader, I can train my Pokemon. What happened to yours again? (A sound is heard, Sandshrew is screaming from inside the string, and breaks out a new Pokemon) (Sandshrew evolved into Sandslash!) Charmander: Let's find out! Dirtle, attack! Sandslash: Uh, no. Charmander: WHAT!? Sandslash: Look, I don't have anything against you, but I'm not personally involved in all of this, so I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna be leaving. All right. See ya. Good luck. (After a moment of awkward silence, Whiskers attacks again, and the fight resumes) Leader Caterpie: You know, I almost killed your friend here, I wanted to take someone from you like you took Pablo from me! But then I remembered, we are not the same. You might know how to use empathy, but you don't feel it. And if I killed him, you wouldn't feel anything. Charmander: SHUT UP! (Charmander uses Ember on the Leader Caterpie, but...) Leader Caterpie: Whiskers! (Whiskers blocks Ember, and for every use of Ember, Whiskers keeps blocking it) Charmander: Don't you see what's happening? You're a slave! If that worm really cared about you it wouldn't be giving you orders it would be fighting by your side. Join me. We can make each other stronger, as a team. Whiskers: You don't remember me, do you? Charmander: Don't take it personally. (Charmander continues to use Ember, and Whiskers continues to block it until she gets tired) Charmander: If you stand between me and Squirtle, I will kill you. Are you willing to die for these worms? Whiskers: This is MY family, pants if I can stop you from killing just one more, pants it's worth it. Charmander: (holds the stinger close to Whiskers) RELEASE SQUIRTLE NOW, or she dies! Did you hear me? Give Squirtle back right now or I will kill her! Leader Caterpie: Do it. Charmander: You chose this. I gave you an out and you refused, so let this be a lesson to all of you! This is what happens when you stand between me and Sq- (attacked by a Water Gun) AAAAAAHHHH! Squirtle: That's enough, Charmander! Not one more. (cut to Bulbasaur, still eating berries, his mouth stained blue) Bulbasaur: Huh, I thought he might look different. (cut back to Charmander) Charmander: Squirtle! I- (attacked by another Water Gun) Squirtle: Oh, I'm sorry, did YOU want a turn? (attacks him again) Seems kind of unfair, doesn't it? (attacks him again) How did I ever think I was making a difference with you? You took so many innocent lives, and all I did was stand there! Charmander: I just wanted- (gets attacked again) Squirtle: TO EVOLVE! I know! That's all you ever cared about! We were supposed to be a team, Charmander! But you were always in this for yourself, and I couldn't fix you. But thanks to them, I can finally fight back! (attacks him with one more Water Gun) (Charmander cries in agony, and the flame on his tail is almost gone) Squirtle: They wanted me to kill you, sigh but they're not like you. They might be cruel, but at least they know when to listen to reason. We've reached an agreement. They're willing to let you live, but only in this. (holding an Ultra Ball) I'm sorry, Charmander. I don't know when I'll see you again, but it might not be for a while. Leader Caterpie: Great work, Bluey. Now stand down! Squirtle: What- Woah. Wha- What are you doing? Leader Caterpie: Stand down! That's an order from your trainer! Squirtle: Wait, you said you wouldn't! We had a deal! Leader Caterpie: This is for Pablo! (Leader Caterpie is holding the same shiv that killed Pablo) Squirtle: No, no, no! Wait! No, No! NO- (cuts to black abruptly) (end credits play) (episode ends) ("To Be Continued..." is shown, but it glitches out for a second, then it glitches again, and then completely glitches out) Category:Episode transcripts